Even good girls want to be bad girls, sometimes.
Hmm... Can I even describe myself in that phrase? Haha~ Again, I'm not sure. Geez, there's been too much uncertainty recently. I found myself... a stranger to myself. LOL. Probably it's because I'm still undergoing my... teenage years? Being rebelient (or however the word is spelt =.=), and searching for my identity.
Who am I?
The easiest, brainless answer will be:
I am me.
However, who exactly is... me?
Back to my topic, "even good girls want to be bad girls, sometimes.". Why do I even mention it? Simply because I found it rather realistic and true at the same time. I used to be labeled as the "good girl". I don't think I'm eligable for that so-called "good girl" anymore.
Sometimes I find it really tiring to be a "good girl". You have to reach up others' expectancies, and maintain them or improve them. Sometimes I have to say, I have my own ways of doing things as well; but because of the so-called "good girl" label, refrains myself from doing the way I wanted.
Now, I do things the way I WANTED. Probably a little too much. And that's why people around me kept telling CONSTANTLY LIKE A BUZZING BEE RIGHT BESIDE YOUR EARS that I'm so inconsiderate, so not feeling empathiness, so... disappointing. How would you feel when someone tell you things like that? I don't know how you would feel. But I am definately disappointed, hurt and sad all at the same time. Towards who? Myself, as well as towards those who flew the words to me like flying daggers.
I wonder if people know what is the meaning of freedom.
The desire to not only do but feel the way they wanted to feel, freely, without any rules.
Yes.
RULES.
Even feelings have rules too. Believe it or not?
At least that is what my surrounding tells me.
You have to feel this and that when you're in this and that kind of situation, so and so forth.
People kept telling me to be good and stuff like that.
I seriously feel like ringing... No. BANGING, CRASHING THE BLARDY BELLS OR LIGHT BULBS IN THEIR HEADS!
Give me a LIFE!
I am a human being as well! Can't you just let me be who I wanted to be, or just let me die?
*p.s. Currently going an emo state.
*p.s.s. DO NOT TELL ME HIGH EMO, LOW INTEL! You will PERSONALLY get a really comfortable PUNCH FROM ME ON YOUR PRETTY FACES AND BELLIES.
Sometimes I feel like asking them, do you even understand why am I like this for this moment being? Do you even empathise me?
I find it rather... "funny".
People kept telling me, don't let others govern your life.
But some of them are just governing my life without noticing it.
The worse thing is?
The barrier is indirectly and invisibly SET. It is... THERE out of nowhere.
Welcome to my life.
To make things even "funnier", how can I suppose to empathize you when YOU, YOURSELF don't even try to take ONE out of your oh-so-many-that-no-one-is-able-to-really-count brain neurons to SHOOT YOUR IMPULSES TO YOUR SENSES TO THINK about how I feel?
What kind of logic is this anyway?
You tell me.
I'll give you my entire life if you can explain to me, LOGICALLY AND HUMANLY.
It's not that I didn't want to be the ideal person that people around me wanted me to be. It's just that, like I said, even good girls want to be bad girls, sometimes. It's tiring to be a good girl, some of the times. Rather most of the time, for now.
Urgh, get me a life with a freedom recipe.
-Jas-
*emo emo emo*
Who am I?
The easiest, brainless answer will be:
I am me.
However, who exactly is... me?
Back to my topic, "even good girls want to be bad girls, sometimes.". Why do I even mention it? Simply because I found it rather realistic and true at the same time. I used to be labeled as the "good girl". I don't think I'm eligable for that so-called "good girl" anymore.
Sometimes I find it really tiring to be a "good girl". You have to reach up others' expectancies, and maintain them or improve them. Sometimes I have to say, I have my own ways of doing things as well; but because of the so-called "good girl" label, refrains myself from doing the way I wanted.
Now, I do things the way I WANTED. Probably a little too much. And that's why people around me kept telling CONSTANTLY LIKE A BUZZING BEE RIGHT BESIDE YOUR EARS that I'm so inconsiderate, so not feeling empathiness, so... disappointing. How would you feel when someone tell you things like that? I don't know how you would feel. But I am definately disappointed, hurt and sad all at the same time. Towards who? Myself, as well as towards those who flew the words to me like flying daggers.
I wonder if people know what is the meaning of freedom.
The desire to not only do but feel the way they wanted to feel, freely, without any rules.
Yes.
RULES.
Even feelings have rules too. Believe it or not?
At least that is what my surrounding tells me.
You have to feel this and that when you're in this and that kind of situation, so and so forth.
People kept telling me to be good and stuff like that.
I seriously feel like ringing... No. BANGING, CRASHING THE BLARDY BELLS OR LIGHT BULBS IN THEIR HEADS!
Give me a LIFE!
I am a human being as well! Can't you just let me be who I wanted to be, or just let me die?
*p.s. Currently going an emo state.
*p.s.s. DO NOT TELL ME HIGH EMO, LOW INTEL! You will PERSONALLY get a really comfortable PUNCH FROM ME ON YOUR PRETTY FACES AND BELLIES.
Sometimes I feel like asking them, do you even understand why am I like this for this moment being? Do you even empathise me?
I find it rather... "funny".
People kept telling me, don't let others govern your life.
But some of them are just governing my life without noticing it.
The worse thing is?
The barrier is indirectly and invisibly SET. It is... THERE out of nowhere.
Welcome to my life.
To make things even "funnier", how can I suppose to empathize you when YOU, YOURSELF don't even try to take ONE out of your oh-so-many-that-no-one-is-able-to-really-count brain neurons to SHOOT YOUR IMPULSES TO YOUR SENSES TO THINK about how I feel?
What kind of logic is this anyway?
You tell me.
I'll give you my entire life if you can explain to me, LOGICALLY AND HUMANLY.
It's not that I didn't want to be the ideal person that people around me wanted me to be. It's just that, like I said, even good girls want to be bad girls, sometimes. It's tiring to be a good girl, some of the times. Rather most of the time, for now.
Urgh, get me a life with a freedom recipe.
-Jas-
*emo emo emo*
Comments
Bad girl huh? They say boys don't understand girls because girls are very complex.
I don't think so.
I think girls are so simple that they're so complex. =_=
Meaning, girls make themselves complex while they're just very simple.
"Simple" + "complex" = ...? Rojak?
Lol the word "rojak" is not meant to insult.
Many things in girls' life, especially when it comes to mentality and psychology, even girls themselves don't understand, let alone solving the problems. -_-"
That's why things become so messed up that I call them "rojak".
(I didn't mention boys doesn't mean boys have no problems. Lol.)
Oh my... Maybe I've just went off-topic.
Okay back to topic.
Just be yourself. As long as what you want to do doesn't harm others AND yourself, just do it.
Sometimes people want or expect us to do something their way because they're just self-centered. But sometimes people really think "their way" is the better way. Just try to think whether their way is really better, then choose. I don't want to bring in "Critical Thinking" here so I don't want to talk about objective and subjective truth, but what others expect us to do are still just what they think. Well unless they're our parents. Lol!
When it comes to parents, it's another story. We have to see what kind of attitude our parents have, and how they think. If the parents are just so self-centered and I'm-your-parent-so-you-just-have-to-listen-to -me, so much so until they violate our rights as human beings, we can actually take action against them. Of course, proper actions only. Parents are also humans, so it's not like their words are "the truth".
Whatever it is, I'll think about what other people suggest. But if I know they're too confident with their ideas without realizing the flaws, or they're being unreasonable, or just for good reasons I think something don't have to be talked about any further, I just won't give a damn!!
That's me. :3
Wow. Such a long "comment".
oh wow, you're the only guy so far that says girls are too simple that made them so complex! I agree with you though. Being a FEMALE myself, i don't even know what's in a FEMALE's mind. =.="
well, to be really easy, i'm being really rebellious (or however the word was spelt). i just don't wanna do things according to other ways other than my own way because... i just dunwanna follow! and, just to (HOPEFULLY)show them that: hey, i have my own brain to think too.
even though suggestion from others are better OR actually the same as what i had in mind (and i did not say it out aloud that i had that kinda idea as well), i will still go the other way. i'm like.. LOLing literally to myself. NOW i'm going the rebellious stage of a TEENAGER. what the hell!!
okay, another long reply LOL~
-Jas-
If you're one big extrovert yourself, that might explain it (about you not knowing what's in your own head).
So, even if what others say is the same as what you think, you'd still do it the other way. So naughty! =_=
and yeah, i admit i AM naughty~ lol~
-Jas-
-Jas-