Tantrums.

How to deal with a child who throws a tantrum towards you?

Many lecturers, even books say the same thing:
Let the child throw all the fit he/she wants, and he/she will eventually stop when there is no attention given to him/her.
In the end?
There is no positive reinforcement that will lead to more tantrums in the future.
Or at least, the child will learn to decrease the behavior.

I could not deny it is one of the most useful ways to deal with it.
However, what daunted me is the sudden realization that I just had a moment ago.

The ignorance given to the child that was yearning for attention (may it be reasonable or not), is merely to make your life easier.
Your life.
It is easier for you.

How about the child?
Yes, he/she may have learnt that the kind of fit he/she threw wouldn't get the kind of attention he/she wanted.
The child will learn, eventually, to lessen his/her tantrum behaviors.

However,
how about the child's feelings?
The child's actions were being ignored, thus leading to the realization and practice of decreasing the act.
Good for your life, good for his/her behavioral act.

The child's feelings were being ignored, too.
Have you carefully thought about this?
You're not only ignoring his/her actions, but the child's feelings too.

True, the child's attitude may have made you miserable and irritated.
However, the ignorance towards his/her feelings will lead to the consequences that you may not imagine in the future.

The child may be hurt that he/she did not get the toy the child demanded for, or the littlest shout from you to gain your attention. Ultimately, the child is hurt because he/she does not feel that he/she is being cared for.

I remember, there were some lecturers who said this, too:
After the child stops his/her tantrum behavior, talk to him/her about how you did not like his/her actions; talk to him/her how you love him/her while he/she is being a good boy/girl.
Why?
So that their feelings were being concerned.

Do not just think about how to make your life easier and less miserable while dealing with children.
Think about their development, their mental development into a huge concern.

Because after all,
what they poop is what they eat.

I know.
Funny analogy.

-Jas-