To trust, or not to trust.
She reminds me again, and again - to never give too much to a person, called man.
Never give too much of myself,
never give too much time,
never give too much effort,
never give too much love,
never give too much trust,
never give too much of everything.
It left me ponder.
What else is there in a relationship, if you kept holding yourself back so much just because you are afraid of the consequences of getting hurt and stabbed by the heart? How about the past, present or future happy moments? Are they not real, but mere illusions of that person?
Recently I came across course seminars about relationships, and how vast numbers of researches were done on studying why relationship satisfaction would ultimately decrease (either slowly, or steeply) - how types of communications, attachment styles, personalities, positive illusions and so forth would make or break relationships. I came to realize how many of these researches are looking in this way: "Look, here's the problem. Why is there such a problem? Are there solutions to this problem?" Reading this, made us feel that things tend to happen naturally to a certain extent - we look at problems, we seek for solutions. Nothing wrong with that idea.
But if you tilt it the other way, the questions would be: "Why do we only look into solutions when problems to manifest? Why look into the negativity of things and try to turn it positive, rather than looking into the positivity of things and make it even better?" Just like relationships, yes, no one wants to get hurt - we really just want the positivity of the relationship and probably have too much positive illusions toward the relationship. However, if we start a relationship with negativity - how could it possibly last? Of course, balancing the positive illusion with a tinge of reality and preparation for negativity may be a good approach to not only builds the relationship - but safeguard your own heart as well.
To trust, or not to trust is not just about the him/her or the relationship - but yourself as well. If its not worth it, why stay? If its worth it, why do you hold back?
-Jas-
Never give too much of myself,
never give too much time,
never give too much effort,
never give too much love,
never give too much trust,
never give too much of everything.
It left me ponder.
What else is there in a relationship, if you kept holding yourself back so much just because you are afraid of the consequences of getting hurt and stabbed by the heart? How about the past, present or future happy moments? Are they not real, but mere illusions of that person?
Recently I came across course seminars about relationships, and how vast numbers of researches were done on studying why relationship satisfaction would ultimately decrease (either slowly, or steeply) - how types of communications, attachment styles, personalities, positive illusions and so forth would make or break relationships. I came to realize how many of these researches are looking in this way: "Look, here's the problem. Why is there such a problem? Are there solutions to this problem?" Reading this, made us feel that things tend to happen naturally to a certain extent - we look at problems, we seek for solutions. Nothing wrong with that idea.
But if you tilt it the other way, the questions would be: "Why do we only look into solutions when problems to manifest? Why look into the negativity of things and try to turn it positive, rather than looking into the positivity of things and make it even better?" Just like relationships, yes, no one wants to get hurt - we really just want the positivity of the relationship and probably have too much positive illusions toward the relationship. However, if we start a relationship with negativity - how could it possibly last? Of course, balancing the positive illusion with a tinge of reality and preparation for negativity may be a good approach to not only builds the relationship - but safeguard your own heart as well.
To trust, or not to trust is not just about the him/her or the relationship - but yourself as well. If its not worth it, why stay? If its worth it, why do you hold back?
-Jas-
Comments