Simplicity.
Well, I am here pretty much because I am procrastinating. In one of my earlier posts, I mentioned about having 3 case studies and 1 research project to complete. I have so far pretty much completed 1 case study, not really half way there through my research, and... have my data for case study number 2, and nothing for case study 3. *anxiety alert* It's kind of hard to get into the hamster-in-the-rolling-wheel mode when I broke that cycle by going somewhere for a short travel and ended up still in holiday mode after... a few days. To be fair, I am starting to get on that hamster wheel (albeit a little slow) from yesterday and have yet to get on that wheel for today. Mmph... I believe I'll get there soon. Haha~
For the past (almost) 2 years, I have been dreading about Skyping home - because of all the conflicts and what-not that's been going around. I - who have always been a faithful listener to my mom's ramblings - pretty much had enough of it. The counsellor in me does not really apply when it comes to my own family situations simply because I am so tired of it, and I want my family to cut me some slack. I honestly like staying away from home, even though I miss about (and miss out) many things that are only available there. Reason is because: out of sight, out of mind. I would always cringe when someone from home Skype called me all of a sudden, even though I know that I should be calling them already.
A few days ago, my mom called me - and yes, I cringed thinking about the not-so-good stuff she would be telling me for the Nth time. However, it turned out to be different that time. I was surprised to hear from her that she had relapsed for the past 2 weeks - and I had absolutely no idea because no one told me about it. I was feeling a little terrified and sad at the same time. Terrified because I was not there to support her around the house; and, sad because I thought to myself that they did not tell me just because they did not want me to worry. Yet when mom called me, she was already almost fully recovered. I was relieved and strangely proud. Relieved because she was getting well; and, strangely proud because... she managed to stand up by herself without my help or relying on me this time. I was proud, so proud of her! I was also glad to hear from her about how my dad had been taking good care of her during her relapse period - and how his little actions warmed her heart. Well, that's a small silver lining to me that the two of them can get along when one is facing difficult time.
I believe that for me to be leaving home is after all a good thing - so that they could learn how to live with each other again. Just like the times before I was brought into this world and their lives.
Happiness can be very simple. It does not need to be extravagant. It can stem from the smallest heartfelt actions that we always forgot about.
-Jas-
For the past (almost) 2 years, I have been dreading about Skyping home - because of all the conflicts and what-not that's been going around. I - who have always been a faithful listener to my mom's ramblings - pretty much had enough of it. The counsellor in me does not really apply when it comes to my own family situations simply because I am so tired of it, and I want my family to cut me some slack. I honestly like staying away from home, even though I miss about (and miss out) many things that are only available there. Reason is because: out of sight, out of mind. I would always cringe when someone from home Skype called me all of a sudden, even though I know that I should be calling them already.
A few days ago, my mom called me - and yes, I cringed thinking about the not-so-good stuff she would be telling me for the Nth time. However, it turned out to be different that time. I was surprised to hear from her that she had relapsed for the past 2 weeks - and I had absolutely no idea because no one told me about it. I was feeling a little terrified and sad at the same time. Terrified because I was not there to support her around the house; and, sad because I thought to myself that they did not tell me just because they did not want me to worry. Yet when mom called me, she was already almost fully recovered. I was relieved and strangely proud. Relieved because she was getting well; and, strangely proud because... she managed to stand up by herself without my help or relying on me this time. I was proud, so proud of her! I was also glad to hear from her about how my dad had been taking good care of her during her relapse period - and how his little actions warmed her heart. Well, that's a small silver lining to me that the two of them can get along when one is facing difficult time.
I believe that for me to be leaving home is after all a good thing - so that they could learn how to live with each other again. Just like the times before I was brought into this world and their lives.
Happiness can be very simple. It does not need to be extravagant. It can stem from the smallest heartfelt actions that we always forgot about.
-Jas-
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