Fear.

I suddenly... miss my counselor.

They say the biggest challenge and enemy is your own self,
your own pride and ego.

Psychologically speaking,
it would be fighting against the debate between the superego and ID.
Hence the torture for the ego.

Ego says: "So what I'm going to do now? Conclusion is...?"
*debate between superego and ID continues*

I woke up this morning,
having the most Freudian dream I could ever remember having;
after living for almost 23 years and dreaming so much at nights or in the mornings.

I dreamed about all the things I stayed away from:
certain people, certain situations, and certain emotions.

Hmm... somehow it almost feel like having ASD.
Haha.

I question myself.
My nature and nurture.

Sometimes I couldn't understand.
Why am I being so hard on myself?
Why is it that I'm so unforgiving towards myself?
Why do I think so much?
Why do I perceive so negatively about myself?
Why is it that I think so lowly about myself?

Darn you egocentrism freak.
Darn you perfectionist wannabe.

*sigh*

There's too much fear, Jasmine.

-Jas-