this is life.

Well... It's been another long while since I last blogged. In the past four years, I've been telling myself: "I need to blog more. I need to blog more." And yet... I never do it. Funny how this healthy habit changed to rather just sit around and do nothing, or watch videos, etc. I guess... a big part of me is afraid of facing the reflections and high self-awareness that I possess. It's weird because I work as a counsellor, and it's pretty much in my innate character that I do that in a constant manner - but it's really daunting to sit down and really process those thoughts and channel through concrete words.  In my work, I love to use visual aids with my clients - Interactive Drawing Therapy, Sandplay, or just writing things down on a whiteboard or a piece of paper. All of my clients would tell me the same thing: that it is immensely helpful to put down their thoughts and feelings to a medium where they could actually see it - because it's clearer fo...

It's not really okay, but there are times that I just have to really jam the whole idea of "every individual is unique" into my personal-self's script. It's hard!  *sigh*  -Jas-

Well.  There are always times I love and hate being an only child. Today would be one of the days when I hated to be one. People think that being an only child is lucky - and one of the common stereotype is that only child wouldn't experience something people call "sibling rivalry" or basically being compared to someone else.  That is incorrect. I grew up my WHOLE LIFE being compared to my aunt(s; oh there are many other people I was being compared to within my family). Either I'm in someways negatively similar or dissimilar to whoever people were trying to compare myself to. And yes, today happened to be another one of those "being compared" days that I absolutely loathe.  I hate it. I really do. Let alone having my own parents doing that to me over and over again. I hated it because I was constantly being reminded of my imperfections - that I'm never "(good) enough". My "good"s and "OK"s are always being dim...

Well, I am here pretty much because I am procrastinating. In one of my earlier posts, I mentioned about having 3 case studies and 1 research project to complete. I have so far pretty much completed 1 case study, not really half way there through my research, and... have my data for case study number 2, and nothing for case study 3. *anxiety alert* It's kind of hard to get into the hamster-in-the-rolling-wheel mode when I broke that cycle by going somewhere for a short travel and ended up still in holiday mode after... a few days. To be fair, I am starting to get on that hamster wheel (albeit a little slow) from yesterday and have yet to get on that wheel for today. Mmph... I believe I'll get there soon. Haha~ For the past (almost) 2 years, I have been dreading about Skyping home - because of all the conflicts and what-not that's been going around. I - who have always been a faithful listener to my mom's ramblings - pretty much had enough of it. The counsellor in me do...

啊……我的个人霸占欲很强。属于我的东西或领域，别人绝对不能碰。 啊可是吼，我的东西老是被其他人用。好，算了。今天发现属于我的领域所霸占的空间和物品——不见了！  嗯，我觉得是荷尔蒙在作祟。 啊啊啊啊啊……我的空间已经很小了……还有很有限的……为什么别人总是搞不清楚那些是自己的，那些是别人的啊……*伤心* 我……我……那些东西我都有在花钱的啊……*哭*虽然是‘小钱’，可是还是钱啊…… *躲在角落哭泣* -Jas-

My face is currently in a rotten state. Both sides of my cheeks are pimple-full and red-ish. Even my nose is red, at both sides and the bridge because of dryness or possibly minor sunburn. Oh, not to forget my lovely chin has mountain full of pimples too. Last but not least, my lips are like two not-so-appetizing sausages hanging on my red face. Argh...! I don't like this!!! -Jas-