this is life.

Honestly, I so feel like blogging so many times within these two weeks. BUT, I just can't. Why? Because I'm at my maternal grandparents' house, using my bro's computer WHICH kept lagging and freaking slow and the connection was... it was okay actually. LOL. And, I'm not at home almost everyday. AND, there's no wireless network here. *grumbles* Which means I cannot use my laptop to go online! But I still use it to do... other stuffs. Teehee, shall Jasmine update you guys what she had been up to for the past week? *smiles* - shopping, shopping AND shopping. (My luggage is seriously OVERLOADED already!! T-T Damn. The money I have to pay...) - visiting her relatives. - traveled to some place nearby. - being overdosed by Super Junior stuff. - babysitting my little sister. - IGNORING my little sister when she's really annoying. (lol.) - wrote two prologues for two new stories. (go on, call me crazy.) - wrote some chapters, too. (yeap, go on.) - FINALLY finished ...

Hokay I'm typing this at the airport! Yes I brought my dear lappie along with me. xD How could I leave it alone so lonely back in my house? Me lappie, me soulmate. *cough* (Because I can stare YooChun as much as I wanted with me lappie. xD) So just a quick note. Merry Christmas and happy new year in advance to you all yeah! And most of all, miss me okays?! I hadn't talk to you guys in AGES since the holiday starts. *my bad my bad* But anyway, I'll miss you guys heaps! I will still go online when I get to... somewhere. LOL. The thing is that it's quite troublesome to online at my maternal grandparents' house. Besides... there's no wireless modem. It's a dial up connection. So, go figure. Haha. Okay! Leaving now~ ^^ -Jas-

I should be sleeping by this hour, but I will have to post this up before I leave tomorrow. Finally, I shall just present you: a continuation of " content happiness ". 22nd November 2008 "D-day!" I woke up pretty much later than my usual time - 9a.m.+ and if I'm not mistaken Miss M *cough* woke up around the same time as I did! I reached for my cell phone and my eyes was going to pop out when I saw the number of messages sent to me. Thank you peeps! *smiles* Soon everyone else was up and had this really huge breakfast that my mom (and I) prepared for the lot. *cough* Anyway, nothing much has happened during the day as everyone's busy with their assignments, or entertainment and such. Yes... everyone was pretty much bored! *sorry lah guys, my house has nothing much for you to do* Lucky thing was I have wireless connection, so my house had instantly became a cybercafe! LOL! Later in the afternoon, near evening, everyone got themselves dressed up and such and t...

Finally, I get to officially scream FREEDOM after this semester's torturous stress loads. Every thing's over! Well at least for my Second year, first semester life! No more assignments, no more experiments, no more presentations, NO MORE EXAMS! But heck... this just shows how fast time passes by. I am graduating, really really soon. (Okay I know i have like more than 1 and a half year to go but what the hell.) I'm not sure if I'm ready to seriously face the world alone till then. I'm so going to miss being a student... hopefully I'll get grades that are good enough to get me for further studies... or else my dream will be vanished in a blink of an eye! I couldn't describe how thrilled I am that holiday's here! Even though it's one really short holiday... But honestly I wouldn't want a long one or else I'll be really dreadfully slumbering in the start of a new semester. Dang torturous. Oh well. Planning, planning AND planning! I felt glad that...

It seriously does. Its been killing my appitite for quite a few weeks now; and I haven't get it back yet. My god. I miss my larger appitite after I got back from USA. Now it's even worse than my old small appitite! Its A LOT SMALLER . *sobs* It kills my mood, totally. I got so freaking sensitive to the point of riddiculusness. I aplogize for my mood swings, my dear friends. *bows* I admit I can be really scary normally when I'm normal; but I'm much insanely scarier when I'm on my mood swing periods. LOL. Sorry peeps~ Didn't mean to scare you guys off. It also ultimately, kills my health. Even sleeping for TEN frigging hours still make me sleepy after waking up. I'm barely fresh and awake if I slept for five hours. Gosh. Imagine I can seriously fall asleep in the middle of the exam?? My God. This is my first time ever in my life that I literally consider should I take a short nap DURING the exam. *cough* This is creepy. It's not like I don't get quali...

I suddenly realized why you would say those words to me that day. I suddenly realized the reason why you asked me the questions. It's because you felt guilty. I forgive you. But, at the same time, I can't. I believe in trust and promises. You broke them. -Jas-

I have absolutely NO idea how to expect for this semester's results. Oh. My. GOD. Pleeeeeeeaaaaase... T-T I have a really really bad feeling... And this is no good. URGH! I don't want to... *censor word* OR even *censor word* ANY of the subjects. AAAHHH!! *SCREEEAAAAAAAAAAM* Three more subjects to go... I have NOTHING in my brain for the other two subjects. MY GOD. No more panic attacks please... T-T Mercy please, MERCY! I promise I'll be a good girl next semester and study real hard! T-T AND also practice my piano to freaking pass the stupid practical exam... T-T -Jas-

... of sharing. *smirk* I couldn't tell how happy I am, sharing the dong bang dorkiness with two of my besties from highschool. xD -Jas-

什么东西。 人家没有，我再次重复， 没有乱花钱 。 就算你们每个月给我的钱有省很多，我都有收着！ 我没有乱花钱啦，好不好？！？！ 就算你们认为我剩下的钱应该比你们预料的多，事实上是比较少。 可是，不代表我把钱当纸一样烧啦！！！！！ 你们乱花钱的记录比我多很多好不好？！？！ 人家需要买什么重要的，什么什么的都没有向你们讨多一点，就自己省下来的来买的！！ 又是你们自己说有多自己收，转个头就问干吗不用剩下的那笔钱来补这个那个。 然后，用掉了，就倒过来问人家：干吗不省钱？ 去！！！！！！！ 算了。 反正什么鬼东西都是你们对，我永远永远都是错。 -Jas-

I observe the littlest things that others tend to ignore or don't even notice about it. Not to say others, but those who did the littlest actions themselves did not pay attention to it. Beware. Because the littlest things that you say or do inflicts the true you that you are trying to hide from others. Maybe others don't know about it. But I know. And, I am not joking. This is why, sometimes I would say: human beings are such disappointing creatures. True colours were shown. Yes. True colours. -Jas-

... 你越想得到，却更加不容易得到。 ... 你越执着去夺取，就更容易失去。 ... 一开始都不是你的，不管你多么努力想尽办法得到它。 所以，有时候要懂得如何去放手。 最少，也要懂得慢慢放松。 也许会伤，会痛； 可是长痛不如短痛。 伤口复原了也许会留下丑陋的疤痕。 有时候，也许会隐隐作痛。 可是，要提醒自己：一切已成为历史。 疤痕，为了提醒自己不要再同样的再次受伤、留下疤痕。 作痛，为了提醒自己不要再重复曾经受伤的感觉。 -Jas-

If you are a NOT TVXQ! fan, I do not recommend you to watch this youtube. *SQQQQQQUUUUEEEEAAAAAAAAAALLLLL* OOHHH MYYYY GAAAAWWWWDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!! xDDDDDDDDDD I COULDN'T STOP SQUEALING WATCHING THIS!!!!! xDDDDDDD YooChunnie don't be scared~~~ mweee shall protect you even though I'm a lot shorter than you... xDDDDD AHAHAHAHHHHAAAAA!!!! MY GOD!!!! CHANGMIN I TOTALLY LOVE YOU IN THIS VIDEO!!!!! CHEONGMAL KIUBTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xDDDDDDDDDDDDD -Jas- p.s. *SSSSSSQQQQQQUUUUEEEAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL* xDDDDDDDDDD

Hehe I was tagged by both Esther AND Ikyang (pervie butt xD) quite some time ago... So here I am fulfilling you girlies' wishes! LOL! Esther's tag. 1. Person who tagged you is? - Esther! 2. Your relationship with her? - Teehee she's me forum friend~ xD 3. Five impressions of her? - A girl - One of the many "esther"s I know in the forum xDD - sweeeeeet - cute xD - a changminnie fan hehehehe~ 4. The most memorable thing she has done for you? - Hmm... I'd say reading my fanfics xD 5. Most memorable thing she has said to you? - Ahhhh that she loves me stories xD 6. If she becomes your lover, you will? - I'd give her Changmin, lol! 7. If she becomes your lover, thing she has to improve on would be? - Only yoochunnie will be me lover, and changminnie will be her lover! xD 8. If they become your enemy, you will?? - they? O__O 9. What is it you want to tell her now? - me miss chu~ xD 10. Your overall impression on her is? - a sweeeet little girl 11. How do you th...

It really did. I had never thought that I would see such a fascinating miracle in my life. Life is full of surprises... and miracles. The sky is smiling. Hopefully everything will have a better turn for me, and for the rest of the people. :) -Jas-

They said that Murphy's Law do exist and eventually it will happen to us. I never paid attention much to a series of good or bad luck in my life. However, this time... the series of the so-called "bad luck" was so overwhelming that it struck me. It struck me, real hard. I had never thought that so much can happen to me in ONE day; counting out other stuffs that happened to me for the past month(s). You may ask: "Are you sure that your luck is that bad?" My answer to you will be: "You are not, and will never be in my shoes; you will never know." I indeed had learned quite a few lessons after the bad lucks for the past months since September. However, on that day itself, I had learned so much, too much that I lost faith in human beings. Particularly, MEN. I became so desperate that I really really do want to change myself after it . Aside from that, I became desperate to find myself a protector. I felt so weak and helpless. I did not disclose it to man...

I could NOT get enough of the song. Don't say goodbye, don't leave me now. Cause you are my everything to me. - dong bang shin ki, Mirotic C version: Don't say goodbye I listened to it over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over (it goes on forever, seriously) again, and again, and again, and again, and again (again, it goes on forever). Don't ask me how many times I listen to it each time I turned on my WMP, or how many times I listened to it in a day... I seriously could not tell. I would just tune into it, sit there and stone. And then? Let my tear flows freely whenever the emotions are there. I couldn't remember when was the last time I got SO addicted to a particular song, as well as the emotions that it brought along with the melody. Lovely song, lovely melody, lovely lyrics, lovely emotions, lovely voices. -Jas-

D O O M E D . omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg... -Jas-

现在，已经是第三次了…… 两次因为…… 另外的一次因为…… 原来那个感觉是如此的。 我理解了。 很难受。 非常难受。 本以为可以把自己从深洞里拔出来，原来啊，原来太高估自己的能力了。 重复，又重复，再重复。 没办法了，只好一直往下掉…… 原本的……已被……代替。 我想这一刻起的我，不是原本的我了。 -Jas-

눈 맞추지 못하는 그댈 읽을 수 없죠 길을 잃어버린 아이 같아서 기다리고만 있죠 어떤 말을 할건지 사실 난 알고 있죠 진심이 아닌걸 눈치 챈걸요 눈물이 말하잖아요 Don't Say Goodbye 그 손을 놓지 말라는 마음이 들려요 그대 맘이 들려요 아직 나만을 원하죠 그댄 숨길 수 없죠 그댄 거짓말을 못하죠 허락할 수 없어요 헤어지잔 거짓말 눈을 보고 말해봐요 아니잖아요 진심 아니잖아요 Don't Say Goodbye 그 손을 놓지 말라는 마음이 들려요 그대 맘이 들려요 세상이 등 돌려도 힘든 사랑이라도 You are my love, you are my soul Don't Say Goodbye don't leave me now oh~ 함께 나눈 약속이 내겐 전부인걸요 Don't Say Goodbye You are my everything to me 지친 내 하루는 항상 그댈 찾겠죠 마르지 않는 샘처럼 그댈 사랑할께요 You are my love, you are my soul Don't say good bye you are the only one for me 없었던 일처럼 오늘이 또 지나면 서로 맘을 놓지 않고 모두 이겨내겠죠 Cause you are my everything to me Cause you are my everything to me (credits: DBSKer archives ) -Jas-

You see a mushroom. A small, round mushroom. You find the mushroom cute. You poked it gently with your finger, and smiled. You observed the mushroom a little longer. The colours wrapped around the little round mushroom was sweet and attractive. You plucked the mushroom out of its roots. You decided to keep it in your pocket, safe and sound until you reach home. You smiled with the thought of finding such a nice, cute mushroom after searching in the woods for a long time. You took the mushroom out from your pocket as you sat down on your cozy couch. You stared at the mushroom with a silly grin on your face, thinking how lucky you are to find such a rare object. You breathed in the sweet scent of the mushroom. You felt delighted. How sweet would it taste? You wondered. You bit the mushroom as it melts in your mouth. And then, you swallowed it. You realized that it was not as tasty as it smelled. After a few minutes, you felt your heart was in pain. The mushroom was poisonous. However, it...

I got myself a "livejournal" out of the blue today. I thought it was so cool to look at people blog and post their graphic related goodies in livejournal. Apparently... it's not as cool as I think. Go on and call me a noob. I have absolutely no idea how to design a layout. Okay, I shall not go THAT far yet. I made a header for my livejournal blog, and I have absolutely no clue (not even a tinge of it) how to upload it and make it as my LJ's header. Great. They have some pretty cool functions and stuffs and whatevers there... But it's just too complicated for me to use! I shall leave it there for now, and attempt to make it make sense to me. Who knows I'll start designing LJ layouts instead of wallpapers, posters, banners and icons eh? *smirk* Back to work! -Jas-

I just had the two best days of my life. *smiles* 21st November 2008 "La Musica Del Amor" My university's one and only choir group performance. Teehee I felt proud just by saying: "one and only". xD That night, there were two songs performed by the choir group: "Be our guest" from Beauty and the Beast; "Seasons of love" from Rent. Oh yes, I am one of the choir members, too! Now you see why I am thrilled. Aside from the choir group performances, there were solos, duets and group performances by the choir members that night. I can safely say this: It was totally a blast ! I don't know much about the audiences, but I know that all the choir members had so much fun that night. It was a concert after all - OUR concert. *snickers* Aside from the choir members, our lecturer had a great time as well. She gave me a thumb's up when I walked pass her as I smiled back to her in response. I was so thrilled that she was there watching us performing...

My piano teacher just texted me. "Can I go ahead n register u on d April sitting?" *sigh* I did tell her that even if I'm not prepared, I will still go for April sitting. However, when she sent me that message, I froze. Should I? I've been practicing the same songs for almost two years. And I am still lack in practice for my piano pieces. Don't even mention the scales, I didn't even seriously touch it since I failed my first Grade 8 exam. I hate scales. I should not? If I don't take it on April, I'll just keep on dragging until June - August sitting; and it'll still probably be the same. Moreover, I will still have to stick with the same pieces for a few more months! Plus, scales. Urgh. All in all? No matter April or June - August sitting, if I don't pass it this time, it means NEW pieces, and start all over again. However, this time... if I happen to really fail it, I will not take it anymore. Call me a quitter or a loser. I quit . I'd rat...

...你有姐姐的感觉耶！ *嘻* -Jas-

*smiles* I've made FOUR new wallpapers within 40 minutes last night. *goes hyper* Finally a new, hawt looking wallpaper of my hubby for my lappie! I can now endlessly stare at my screen doing nothing, again. ***** Stolen my soul, stolen my heart. - dong bang shin ki, Rising Sun: Tonight. ***** This is yet another post solely for procrastinating. I am SO doomed, seriously. YAY. -Jas-

生日快乐！ 我知道祝你有无比的快乐生活是有点发梦啦~ 可是，还是祝快乐与你同在噢~ 对了…… 怎么可以忘了对我“老公”也说一声生日快乐呢？ 妈妈说不好迟祝福耶…… 不对啦~不算迟啦~ 我早已祝福他了！ 只是忘了在这里也提一提…… 所以呢，祝“老公”你97岁生日快乐哦！ 一定要健康，快乐哦~ *嘻* ***** Whoa!! It's my 22nd post for this month! xD *feels happy* Wheeeeee broke the record of having the most post for such a long time using blogger! *pokes self* Do assignment loh... *sulks* -Jas-

Tempted to write. " 10 days, 10 photographs. " After finishing " piano ". *smirk* If only I could write lab reports and essays THAT fluently. *cough* GAH I can't wait! xD *hyped up for no reason* -Jas-

那个感觉老是一直在心里重复的打转。 很不舒服。 怎么办？ ***** 如果所谓的“主角”是我，那不是应该随着我的意思吗？ 为什么变成随着别人的意思啊？ 讲了一大堆垃圾。 无意中伤了我，知道吗？ ***** 老是钱钱钱钱，钱！ 钱对你们这些动物就是所有。 对我，就是冷酷，无情，害人的东西。 老是把他当人体提款机一样。 什么啦？！自己钱的问题，自己解决啦！ 自己解决不了，就去挖一个洞把自己活埋死掉算了啦！ 我们有事的时候就比死人还更死。 死掉的人还会报梦问候呢！你们？哼！！ 禽兽不如？鬼都不如！！ 你们有事没事就老是缠个不停。 钱就可以收买人情啊？！ 我才不稀罕呢！ 去你妈的！！！ 咳。 ***** 骂完了。 该做功课了。 乖。 -Jas-

真的烦死了。 一个两个快要把我给逼疯了。 够了没啊？！ 几时才会闪去一边自身自灭啊？！ 过分。 -Jas-

HOKAY! If you feel like procrastinating for a while, and jam your little brain for something really really useless, you can check out the new "friend's test" thingy (or whatever it's called) at the sidebar of my blog and... yeah play. LOL. I used to create a similar but definitely something a little bit more sense and meaningful than this one. LOL. And... I just feel like doing another one for the sake of killing my precious time. *dies* Don't ask me why the image's like HALF loaded... I have no idea why, too. LOL. Anyway, have fun! PEACE people! NO STRESS!! *yeah in my dreams* -Jas-

This is a total warning sign that slipped me to instant emo state. I couldn't help but to get totally pissed off at how ridiculously unorganized or unsystematic I am. I have several note books, and also loose papers as my thing to jot down important informations. I have a planner, which is literally EMPTY because I keep it in my closet and moan over how heavy, huge and thick it is. I NEVER plan things. I NEVER do things according the my mental time line. I NEVER stick to prioritizing tasks that are going to due in a certain amount of time. I rush through my assignments and also my studies for my exam. I PROCRASTINATE to the point that I felt so ridiculous. Oh yay. I HAVE NO SELF DISCIPLINE. I let my ID control over me. Following the little rascal that's yelling constantly inside me and fulfilling her demand. I couldn't believe I was so close to crying because I couldn't find such important notes jot down SOMEWHERE. THIS is the result of being severely unorganized. Did I...

I will have to say GOODBYE too whatever dong bang goodies for these few weeks. NO new pictures. NO new gifs. NO new music videos. NO new TV shows. NO new news about how they change to their new looks. NO looking how cool they are doing live performances. NO spazzing. NO fangirling. NO going hyper over them. NO drooling over their awesomeness and hotness. NO... ... ok I can't think of anything else at the moment. (Okay this is going to be A LOT tougher than I thought...) ONE LAST THING! YES to new (and old)songs. *smiles* But dang... I miss them already! *sniffs* Why the hell do I have to dream ALL five of them this morning eh?! NICE and CLEAR. What's more? FREAKING CLOSE. Try imagine how close I can get to each and one of them when I get to HUG them, one by one, to take pictures? *grins* I swear I so want that dream to be real. Or at least, I swear I SO do not want to wake up from it! Thank you, God, for rewarding me such a sweet dream after all these stress. *smiles* ***** Thi...

Arghhhh... Seriously, the stress is so eating me up. I've been slumbering for the past few days! And TWO HUGE assignments and presentations are all due-ing at the SAME DAY, SAME WEEK. Too many journals to cover... in fact, I still have to look for MORE journals in order to support the report and bla bla bla bla blaaaaaaaaa... What's more? I GOT TO SING. (Okay, so it's a weird but TRUE fact.) *faints* I dare not imagine what kind of grades I'm getting this semester... One thing for sure, it's going to be dreadfully dreadful . Gah! God, have mercy on me please? And... I promise to be a good girl? Uhhh... at least for one day? *gives angelic stare* ***** This post is solely for procrastinating. YAY. -Jas-

I don't feel good today, not at all. I feel really really REALLY bad. I really am hoping for the best for my group's work. Sorry guys... sorry for all the problems caused... *sigh* -Jas-

I literally fainted in class today. Don't think anybody knew about this since I fainted on my seat. LOL. Haha... Well good thing is I manage to drag myself back home and DROVE from the train station. *pats self* After today... not to say I can exactly relax... but at least most of the assignments are done. Left the two HUGE assignments and TWO presentations which are all due-ing in two weeks time. *dies* ANYHOO, all of that aside. I finally get to photoshop a little (literally little =_=") and.. here's a little nothings xD Yes I'm showing off my obbsession towards Yoochunnie. LOL. I have seriously NO clue what the hell I was doing with the icons and the gif... since I'm pretty much blur. Hmmmm... maybe I'll do a new wallie for my lappie if I can stay up a little tonight. xD YIKES! I forgot I need to do this CD-cover thingy for the forum... urgh... OH NO AND REQUESTS. Damn... I have so many things to do. Well at least photoshopping's something that I ...

... 失去后才懂得珍惜... 原来是真的。 -Jas-

A conversation between me, and my piano teacher yesterday during class. JAS : Teacher! Let you see my picture when I was a baby! *shoves phone* TEACHER : *laughs* OMG so cute! JAS : Hehehe... *smiles* I was so chubby back then! TEACHER : All babies are like that what! Don't you know? JAS : Well yeah, but I do see some babies who aren't chubby! TEACHER : You study psychology should know that why babies look like how they look like what! JAS : *doink* Heeeeeeh? I don't recall studying about that woh... *sweats* TEACHER : Well, let me tell you then! Babies look cute and small because these are actually cues (signs) of vulnerability. So people will pay more attention to them and protect them loh! p.s. my teacher studied a little psychology, too. *winks* JAS : OOooooo... I see...! Gee I didn't know that~ I learnt something new~ *smiles* CUTE = VULNERABLE impression No wonder-lah... *sweat* -Jas-

Now... *points* THAT'S a header. xD *squeals* YOOSU!!!!!!!!! Hey... I deserve to reward myself a little~ :p Look at the previous header that I did before this! URGH! Oh well~ Now I have a pretty header for me bloggie~ xD I'm happy!! -Jas-

It's so fugly!!!!! Dang I so need my photoshop skills back! *sobs* *light bulb lits* *snickers* Since it's November... and even though I swore that I would never ever EVER use any of my hubbys' pictures for my bloggie's header... but... it won't hurt if I use it once , right? xD *fangirl moment* KKKKYYYYYYAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! I shall make one *sensor* banner... later! *slaps self for not doing assignment* *sobs* *sigh* -Jas-

I miss it... ...A WHOLE LOT. *slaps self* At least do your chi-square thingy thing first, Jasmine! Oh well, too bad, such as life (Cheong, 2008) . *cough cough* -Jas-

...被背叛的感觉。 *叹气* -Jas-

I cried. I cried for having unstable emotional stages since last week. I cried for having way too much stress than I can handle. I cried for feeling as if there's no one helping me on the works I have. I cried for feeling as if I'm the only one who cares. I cried for feeling and being helpless. I cried for feeling and believing there is never anyone who understands me. I cried for feeling no one cares about me, no matter how much sincerity I gave out. I cried for being so much alone and knowing there's no one that I can lean to, but only to myself. I cried for feeling extreme physical exhaustion. I cried for feeling such a weakling. I cried for always getting upset with the slightest and insignificant things. I cried for things are not going as I planned. I cried for wondering why is it always me but not others. I cried for wondering why I can't be angry or upset like others can. I cried for always being blamed for things I did not do wrong. I cried for wondering why am...

WHOA!! And my WMP just HAD to play "Kiss shita mama, sayonara" when I am in such a state! *confirms to slip into emo stage* Stupid Freud. I STILL HATE YOU! Even though I thank you for your oh-so-amazing discoveries in psychology; however, CUT OFF the psychosexual part which includes whatever penis envy, eodipus or electra stage. *cough* You've got the brains man, I salute you! -Jas-

As I stared at the symbol, a feeling rushed through my veins. I guess... that is and was how I felt ever since. It never changes. It remains there. I guess... it's never as easy as I thought. It comes. It goes. However, it stays. I know. You don't. Nobody does. "My flower's my lady." - dong bang shin ki, Mirotic: Flower Lady. -Jas-

PMS. Pre-Marital Sex?? PMS. Park Myong Soo??? PMS. Post Menstrual Syndrome????? Close enough. But I'm not that old to experience that yet. Ok I got confused what's Post Menstrual Syndrome... Uh... does it exist actually? Anyway. PMS. PRE-MENSTRUAL SYNDROME. I'm having it, as usual. But this time? It's BIG time. I get EXTREMELY SENSITIVELY EASILY annoyed, frustrated, upset, hyper, manic, depressed... etc etc AND etc. Maybe it's a little bit too late, but DON'T TELL ME I DIDN'T WARN YOU. -Jas-

I know what I've lost this time. I've lost my temper . I am seriously, severely annoyed, irritated, whatever as long as it's a vocab that describes one's rage for the past few days ever since Wednesday. How long is that? GO FIGURE. I have the tendency to throw you, yes YOU a question: What the FUCK you want from me?! I really want to rant the shit out but I know I can't. Why? Just because I know it will directly or indirectly hurt those who are involved or even those who are not involved. I. NEED. TO. SCREAM. FOR. REAL. I wonder what will happen if I seriously do not care a single fucking shit. Why the hell is it ALWAYS, I mean, ALWAYS me? Why can't it be YOU? Huh? *note: I am not pointing fingers at anyone. If you think it's you, fine. If you think it's someone else, fine. If you think I'm just being insane and crapping shit, fine. I'm getting really sick of this!!! Like anyone will care, Jasmine . You're never a somebody, anyway. -Jas-

……讨厌那些从没尝试过某些事情就老是在那里念世界上百大最讨厌的三个字。 我不会！ 比这三个字更加烦，还有更气人的字？？ 我 真的 不会！ 就送回你们这些犯奸的人美好的三个字。 去死啦！！！！！ 什么东西啦？！ 虽然说世界上有“天才”这两个字，还有一堆叫“天才”的人。可是拜托各位小姐还有少爷们，很多东西就是要靠自己去 学 ，还有 研究 回来的啦！！ 你们以为那粒掉在牛顿头上的苹果在他耳朵旁边对他轻声细语说：“喂喂喂！我告诉你哦……我掉下来敲到你的头是因为 地心引力 的错！我不是故意掉下来打你噢！” 然后就因为这样，他就知道地心引力的存在…… 他也是去 研究 回来的啦，好不好？！白痴啊？！ 真的是让我瞧不起那些连试都还没试的人类们，还很好意思地对着我的脸，喷口水的说自认为是万能的三个字：“ 我不会！ ” 再送你们很有道德性的三个字…… 不用我多说。 就只是问候你妈而已。 *笑* -Jas-

... 真的是烦死人！！！ 明明就是非常简单的事情，可以随便挥辉手就搞定了。 偏偏还要烦的要死，托来托去，扯来扯去到不懂哪里去。 呀！！一个两个没脑，还是智商超低能啊？！ 老是把连五岁的小孩子都可以想到的方法复杂化，什么东西啦？！ *手指着女人们* 不管你是什么类型，怎么样的女人，总之是有女生的生殖器官还有讨厌的女性荷尔蒙的，都是 烦死人！！！！！！ 对，我也是女人。 我不否认我不烦。 就是你们这些老是废的要命，烦死人的女人们害死其他人。 啊啊啊啊啊！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！ -Jas-

A HELL LOT OF AH-HA MOMENTS!!! T_____T GOD BLESS ME PLEASE! AMEN! -Jas-

Finally Mom's back yesterday, which means I'll go back to my normal bunch of works and I don't have to worry about cleaning the house or cooking anymore for the time being. Thank God. I am still in the midst of freaking out for my assignment. No more procrastinating, seriously. But the information overload, plus all those new terms that I've never seen before is the least I wanted to care about. And yet? I couldn't put them aside because... it's important for me to understand and use em in my essay! Been feeling emo since mom got back yesterday. And the feeling's still pretty much around me until this morning. I hate my WMP. It kept shuffling to those upbeat, strong, happy songs when I least wanted them to soothe my emotions. I have too many things to worry. Too many. I felt suffocated. I need to relax. Yet... time is so limited. *sigh* -Jas-

I am seriously FREAKING THE FREAK OUT at the moment. I can't believe I haven't started ANYTHING on my essay which was going to due in less than one week. I can't believe I will have to read not only the journals for my essay, but also for my group's experiment trial run on the SAME DAY as my essay's due date. I still have to transcript the counseling session done in my counseling group AND write the relevant things for that paper. I still have not have ANY meetings or discussions for my "Asian Personality" group essay. I still have not discuss the topic needed for the group proposal for Social Psychology which is going to due (for handing up the topic chosen) this Wednesday. On top of all those? I can't stay up late because I'm freaking sick! OH MY GOD!!!!! Can I NOT freak out?! *SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM SSSSCCCCCRRREEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMM* ASSignments got me under their skin. *sweat drops* GOD HAVE MERCY ON ME! BLESS ME WITH FULL SPEED UNDERSTANDING...

I'm truly grateful that I'm experiencing pain and suffering ALONE at the moment. Being sick (and pretty much alone, since dad's not in since early morning, until rather late at night; mom's in another country) without anyone to look after is truly too much "fun". *screams* Assignments are already freaking getting my nerves. The least thing that I want is thinking about the time I have to spend to cook, clean and wash. Another extra thing for the lovely taste of life? BEING SICK AT THIS KIND OF PEAK PERIOD. Oh my God. I need more than 24 hours in a day, seriously. ***** Bless him with the best of health. Let me see him when I go back. Thank you. And... please. -Jas-

人类。 ***** 说恨你，不是。 说爱你，也不是吗？ ***** 人类为何对，可算是，最亲的人如此的冷酷，无情？ 为什么？ 为什么需要如此多无谓的话语？ 为什么没有安慰？ 为什么老是说根本不是道理的胡扯？ 为什么？ 为。 什。 么。 ***** 无法理解。 为何当人在某个情况下，如此的被关怀，如此的被不离不弃，在另外一个人的身上发生同样的事时，却不会一样的对待他人？ 为何还要再已经更加深入的伤痕一次又一次的洒盐？ 为何是“金钱”这两个字，而不是“心意”？ 为何不尝试站在他人的角度想一想？ 太多太多的疑问，都无法理解。 ***** 这……这是你的报复吗？ 是吗？ ***** 人类。 我对人类，真的，真的，彻底的…… 失望。 我不行了。 无法坚强下去了…… ***** 没了。 心，不翼而飞。 人世间什么情，什么意，让我一次又一次的质疑，一次又一次的被伤害。 现在，不想去理会了。 因为，一切都不曾存在过。 一切一切都是 谎言 。 ***** 放弃，是我的选择。 -Jas-

One thing to be happy. I AM FINALLY ONLINE!!!!!!!! I got myself a new modem today with Gorgan's help, along with Ling && Mika's accompaniment~ Thanks guys! I had fun today (even if you guys find it boring, but oh well! xD)! And thanks for accompanying me neh! ^^ Now, all I can do is pray for... a lot of things. The least and most selfish thing? LET MY INTERNET BE SANE FOR THE REST OF THE SEMESTER. I cannot, I repeat, CANNOT afford to have NO internet from today onwards. I'm seriously freaking out for the group assignments, not to mention the individual ones too. Help me out with the works, people! (Not the individuals one, of course!) And when I thought I had a rather great day, I came back home looking at my mother crying while she was opening the door for me. And? My neighbour was in my house, comforting and accompanying my mom. I was shocked that I was rather calm. Even after she told me what happened. I... I want to go back there. I want to go back like, TOMORRO...

Days (and particularly NIGHTS) without internet is totally BAD. REAL BAD. EXTREMELY BAD. SUPER EXTREMELY AS;DLFKJA;SLDKFJA;SDKFJA;S DF-LY BAD!!!!!!! So yeah. LOL. I still don't have internet access back at home. T____T I need it to do assignment! *aside from spazzing and drooling over my hubby* *coughcough* -Jas-

I think I know why sometimes I am so reluctant towards you. It's because I see the undesireable me in you. It's because we are similar. Too similar, in fact. One thing that is different? We portray ourselves to others differently. That's why I say: I hate myself. -Jas-

今天黄灯亮了一点点。 真的。 是 一点点 。 欧没心要失控的哄…… 本花（笑啦笑啦~~）的脾气真的真的不是好的那种，很快（是非常的快）就放炮。 只是你们还没真正看本花（就继续笑吧~）哗脾气的时候呢！ 到累个时候啊，吓倒你们死掉。 真的不是在开玩笑。 好啦……读书去咯！ *连下个礼拜考试都不懂，该死！！* -Jas-

After the after glow sets, I'm going towards you, Following the lights which turn on one by one I'll embrace you, Before the cold wind makes your shoulders flinch I love you, The foolish you, You're so precious to me As much as the sun that rises above you, I'll keep you safe as much as you've waited for me, with this glaring heart, All the dreams I've prayed for, They're going towards you with my sincere scent I hope that my wishes of smiling next to you every new morning, Will be able to come true I'll wait for you, I'll never let go of your hands, Even if it's only tears, I'll wipe them away for you Although we are not able to see the end, No matter how bumpy our road is, I'll promise you, please be mine As much as the sun that rises above you, I'll keep you safe as much as you've waited for me, with this glaring heart, All the dreams I've prayed for, They're going towards you with my sincere scent, More than the air I ...

YEAH I WON THE BEST FEMALE ARTISTE AWARD!! NOT! AHAHAHAHHAHAAH! Damn I HATE procrastinating. *COUGH* First off, I would like to thank MICHELLiE for awarding me! Award me what?? *drums roll* Haha I was surprised about it, seriously! *huggles chellie* I suck for not writing you a letter for AGES! *hides* But thank you my dear! What is Brilliant Weblog? Brilliant Weblog is a prize given to sites and blogs that are smart and brilliant both in their content and their design. The purpose of the prize is to promote as many blogs as possible in the blogsphere. Here are the rules to follow: When you receive the prize you must write a post showing it, together with the name of who has given it to you, and link them back. Choose a minimum of 7 blogs (or even more) that you find brilliant in their content or design. Show their names and links and leave them a comment informing they were prized with ‘Brilliant Weblog’. Show a picture of those who awarded you and those you give the prize (optional)...

...this is what I got!!! Which dbsk member are you? Your Result: Micky Yoochun Micky Yoochun? Well, let's see... You're mean at times, but nice too. But it wont matter because of your irresistable charm. Hero JaeJoong even said that even when Micky bit something he was still cute in a way. So let this be a compliment to you, your charm is just like Micky's. You're lazy at times, and order people around to do the jobs for you. But when they need help, you're always there 100%. You're very emotional, the most. But it doesnt matter, because you love to crack jokes and have a very fun time. Congrats! You're a Micky Yoochun. Xiah Junsu Hero JaeJoong Max Changmin U-know Yuhno Which dbsk member are you? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz no wonder I'm attracted to him, SEVERELY. *cough* -Jas-

I promised myself that I WILL NOT use ANY dong bang related stuff to create my blog's banner. HOLD ON TO IT, JASMINE!! I know their latest album's pictures are just too hot to resist... HOLD YOUR HORSES!!!!! *offs to do assignment* -Jas-

Where is the optimism that I used to have? ***** live. LAUGH? love...? ***** Hmm... Should I create a livejournal? *whacks self* I need a home for my babies! One problem: I have HUNDREDS of them already. *faints* ***** Currently listening to Mirotic's "Flower Lady". *points own name* Oh gee , I'm one! *COUGHCOUGHCOUGH* ***** The purpose of this post is solely for procrastinating. Kill me. -Jas-