this is life.

Didn't know what to put as a title blog. Well, well, my blogging post is almost reaching 400 already. :] Feeling a little blue today. One of the contributing factor was I woke up late. *groans* Another reason is because I could not study at all. The words, lines and sentences that I read were bouncing back out the moment I squeeze them into my brain. And I have 2 subjects to study, deadline is next Tuesday and Wednesday. Die or not, you say? Been wanting to rant something... but I suppose I'll keep it for the time being. The blue mood is getting me big time at the moment. WHOA even rant also don't feel like it weh, out of 10 times ranting it's almost the probability of 0 that I chose not to rant. Hence, ranting is significantly positive (p=0.001); and not ranting is definitely not (p>0.05). Amusing eh? I can't remember the last time I wrote a proper lab report. LOL. Yeah come tell me in the face that Jasmine is being really weirdly blue a.t.m. * I just realized ...

你说的对…… 我拥有的理智比一般人多太多了。 就缺少了许多感性的一面。 虽然…… 是无法想像如果我把“理智的我”抛开， 换来一点“感性的我”…… 确实，“感性”这样东西在我身上有点怪怪的… 可是… 我… 最近…… 蛮想有那“感性”的一面。 -Jas-

Sometimes I really wish I could yell SHUT UP at your faces; because all those nonsensical arguments would go further into personal sarcasms. They do nothing but more harm, rather than "rationalizing each others' thoughts". Sometimes I really wish I that I could tell you YOU'RE THE REASONS I DON'T FEEL LIKE LIVING YOU'RE THE REASONS I FEEL LIKE LEAVING at your nonsensical moments. I have yet to go to that extent, because I know it'll cause more harm and kill more souls. However, it doesn't mean that I will not, one day. I'll be a little bit more patient and wait until the day I leave. Maybe that will be when I will knock in some of my thoughts and feelings to you. In hopes that you will learn, and decide. -Jas-

本来本姑娘是要说一说长篇大论的“吉利”话的~ 可是差点忘了，明天还有一天慢慢看“人。事。物。”个够叻~ 所以就留到明天吧~ 恭喜发财哦~ -Jas-

It's time to let go. You'll never learn if you're always guided. Lessons are learnt through self-experiences, both good and bad ones. Lessons are never learnt through lectures and sharing. Even if it is hard to stand up and walk, learn how to do it. The process of falling, pain, and embarrassments are the equipments that aid us to be stronger and better. It's the epitome of learning itself. Let go, and don't let it sore. -Jas-

There were a few times that I watched Oprah's show, talking about the issue of some people who have obsessiveness in buying stuff, having lots of debts and still buying expensive items, and then store them all at home. Some used once or twice, some were even forgotten and were left there piling all over the house. I loved watching the Oprah show, and if it's possible I would really love to have all seasons' episodes kept with me. Unfortunately... I can't, and I don't even have the time to follow it on television. Sadly to say, Oprah show's on the last season already. It's really devastating to know such inspiring and informative show's coming to an end after decades of broadcasting. Well, likewise the saying "all good things come to an end" is true. Whoops. Off topic again. As I was saying, there are people (or probably families) that have their homes piled up with stuffs. Or... in a harsher word, rubbish (but not literally)! These people have ...

It is definitely not nice to listen someone saying the money is his/hers when I am the one who saved the money and fixed it in the bank. I truly hope some of my "hopeful" savings for my seemingly worried future is still 100% there. If I know that my sum of grans is lost, I seriously will not tolerate with it. I really need my own security and privacy. Screw it. -Jas-

It is kind of sad that I do in fact failed my Grade 8 practical exam, twice. And I am not anywhere close to the word " talented " in terms of playing the piano. Nonetheless, I truly admit I totally suck in sight reading. *laughs* Of course, the phrase "practice makes perfect" is somehow true... and untrue. I have always had this same problems in playing piano scores. Whether or not if it's a piece that I played for a long time, or a new piece, or even sight reading. I make mistakes, yes, inevitable. Yet, it wasn't until today that I suddenly realized something as I drove my way to piano lessons. Playing a piece requires reading the notes on the stave. It requires you to look ahead of the notes that you were playing. Whenever I play a piece, I do not look ahead. I keep correcting the notes being played, which ruins the flow of the song. I keep turning back, playing the phrase, trying hard to get the notes correct even if it disrupts the flow. Ironically, I do...

Ever since I was young, I would always ask for reasons for the actions they told me to do. Never even once , I was told a proper reason. Instead, I was told to stop asking the question " why ". I was told to just shut up and obey, because they were always right, because I was born to obey them. Until recently, I gave up asking for reasons. Because I know I will never be given a valid reason. And since because I gave up asking " why ", I decided to disobey and refuse to be a "volunteer" when I couldn't find any reasons why I should always follow their words. Sinisterly, I was being asked the intriguing question of "why". Why I wouldn't do as they say, or as they assume what should be done without asking. Honestly, I don't bother to give any kind of answers. I wasn't being given a valid reason why I was even brought to this world. What made them think they had the right to ask me "why"? Just because you gave me the opportu...