It's the end, again.
Wow.
My brain literally went blank at this moment.
*sigh*
Oh.
One thing though.
I suppose today is the day of the year that the statistics people updating their blogs, journals, and have some fun out of the house or in the house being the highest in 365 days!
Also, long post ahead I presume.
I wouldn't say the last day of every year is like every other day in a year.
Somehow there's some special feeling on the last day of a year.
A day that I would reflect a lot, and look back.
What had I been through in the past 364 days?
Every time I would ask the same question to myself, and being unable to grasp an answer. Simply because there were too many things (in every flavor of life) that I had been through and it was impossible to recap everything. In other words, I learnt a lot and too much to be portrayed into words. Even so, most of the times it would be because I couldn't really remember what I did for the past 364 days simply because... I did too many things, too, and nothing in significant to be clearly remembered.
This year, year 2009, is indeed very different.
The dynamics that I had been through this year, were between different ends of extreme.
Many incidents that I had been through left deep marks within myself, may it be good or bad.
Being a pessimistic person, the marks were mostly bad. *laughs* However, I still have the little optimism in me - I discover, I learn, and added them into my own philosophy.
I suppose, I hate and love the year 2009.
I hate it because I had been hurt too much that it was off hands, thinking back to those memories made me want to cry even at this second. Yet love it because it's the most happening year of my life - I experienced many new, good and interesting things, I had many happy moments that I cherish, too.
Well, I shall go through my memory lane for year 2009.
In a very random order, I ain't systematic at this. xD
The birthdays.
The year that I attended the most birthday celebrations, ever! And also, celebrating birthdays with a blast even if there weren't invitations for it. Why? Because we make them happen! I was happy to be able to meet up lots of old friends for such gatherings. And also, mend tighter bonds with each other whether they were old friends, existing friends, or new ones.
The stage.
Surprisingly, I stood on stage quite a number of times this year. It didn't feel great. It felt so god damn awesome. *laughs* It was a whole new discovery, really. Of course I wouldn't exaggerate to the point that I couldn't live without the stage and I felt so belonged to it all that stuff. Okay so yes I do feel a little bit belonged to the stage. Just a teeny bit. The main thing was... it was truly ecstatic. It felt great to be on it, and the next thing was - I wanna do it again! The best moment? It just had to be prom. *winks*
The outings.
Believe it or not... this was the year I went out and hang out with friends the most! And yes, I truly enjoyed it. The first time ever that I went traveling with my friends and staying overnight at friends' houses a number of times. Also going out for gatherings and such until late night (that is past midnight), but still with phone calls from parents to remind me about going home. xD Moreover, I had been to many places around town that I had never been to. Or the least, never been there with friends or hadn't been there for years. All of these were great, and the main source of happiness throughout the year.
The stressors.
Too many... too many too many toooooo many of them. For this, I would say in terms of academic stuff. Especially for my previous August semester, that literally almost killed me. Aside from those, well... there were plenty of stressors anyway. I'm very close to my threshold of insanity.
The conflicts.
One of the years I had the most conflicts. Friends, family, and self. However, most of them were in indirect and semi-indirect forms. A few direct ones, sent me to tears and serious mental breakdowns. Needless to say, some indirect ones with extremely strong impacts were enough to sent me off cliff a few times. Grabbing back to my senses became more and more challenging. Yet, I was intimidated by myself when I was being put under that one incident. I was shockingly calm. Of course, the side effects weren't anything pretty. Even so, I had many realizations through all these. Yet in the bad side, I had been slowly building myself a metal heart.
The deaths.
I know it's a sensitive issue. This had been one of those year (the last time was year 2005) which I felt that there were too many deaths of the people that I know. Let alone I had lost an important family member as well, this year. Thinking about him puts me into denial stage even at this very minute. Two more days, and it had been four months. I really miss you a lot, great grandpa. You always put me into serious tears whenever I think or talk about you. See? You're doing it again. So when are you going to make me smile by visiting me in my dreams? ;D It's extremely taunting to know that whenever I go back to Bangkok, to that house, I'll never see him again. Okay, I had to stop talking about him already. Okay okay one last thing, I LOVE YOU GREAT GRANDPA! And I believe that you favor me too. ;D You always give me that extremely cute smile of yours when you see me. I'll never forget that peaceful look of yours, too. I truly thank God for giving me to opportunity to be with you in your last days.
The new loves.
No... Not boyfriends. I'm married to Park Yoochun, remember? xD Well, I had to say I spent quite a bundle of money as well this year. The new babes that I got myself includes: a red hot sexy external hard drive, a sassy red long purse, a lovely Canon 1000D, a sweet white gown (*cough* not wedding gown-lah), an expensive genuine leather bag (I'm still shocked that I'm allowed to buy that even after months) and a pair of branded specs. What else I'm missing? Hmm... I'm not too sure. Yet, one extremely visible obsession - the color red. xD
The involvements.
Ah... one of the years that I actually got a lot more active in my university's activities! Nothing else to say for this. LOL.
The discoveries.
I had too many new discoveries... to be mentioned. Honestly. And... I decided to keep this to myself. ^^
It's already 12.48 a.m., 1st January 2010 as I typed until this sentence.
So... happy new year to you who's reading this.
I hope that all of us will have a better year this year.
^^
-Jas-
My brain literally went blank at this moment.
*sigh*
Oh.
One thing though.
I suppose today is the day of the year that the statistics people updating their blogs, journals, and have some fun out of the house or in the house being the highest in 365 days!
Also, long post ahead I presume.
I wouldn't say the last day of every year is like every other day in a year.
Somehow there's some special feeling on the last day of a year.
A day that I would reflect a lot, and look back.
What had I been through in the past 364 days?
Every time I would ask the same question to myself, and being unable to grasp an answer. Simply because there were too many things (in every flavor of life) that I had been through and it was impossible to recap everything. In other words, I learnt a lot and too much to be portrayed into words. Even so, most of the times it would be because I couldn't really remember what I did for the past 364 days simply because... I did too many things, too, and nothing in significant to be clearly remembered.
This year, year 2009, is indeed very different.
The dynamics that I had been through this year, were between different ends of extreme.
Many incidents that I had been through left deep marks within myself, may it be good or bad.
Being a pessimistic person, the marks were mostly bad. *laughs* However, I still have the little optimism in me - I discover, I learn, and added them into my own philosophy.
I suppose, I hate and love the year 2009.
I hate it because I had been hurt too much that it was off hands, thinking back to those memories made me want to cry even at this second. Yet love it because it's the most happening year of my life - I experienced many new, good and interesting things, I had many happy moments that I cherish, too.
Well, I shall go through my memory lane for year 2009.
In a very random order, I ain't systematic at this. xD
The birthdays.
The year that I attended the most birthday celebrations, ever! And also, celebrating birthdays with a blast even if there weren't invitations for it. Why? Because we make them happen! I was happy to be able to meet up lots of old friends for such gatherings. And also, mend tighter bonds with each other whether they were old friends, existing friends, or new ones.
The stage.
Surprisingly, I stood on stage quite a number of times this year. It didn't feel great. It felt so god damn awesome. *laughs* It was a whole new discovery, really. Of course I wouldn't exaggerate to the point that I couldn't live without the stage and I felt so belonged to it all that stuff. Okay so yes I do feel a little bit belonged to the stage. Just a teeny bit. The main thing was... it was truly ecstatic. It felt great to be on it, and the next thing was - I wanna do it again! The best moment? It just had to be prom. *winks*
The outings.
Believe it or not... this was the year I went out and hang out with friends the most! And yes, I truly enjoyed it. The first time ever that I went traveling with my friends and staying overnight at friends' houses a number of times. Also going out for gatherings and such until late night (that is past midnight), but still with phone calls from parents to remind me about going home. xD Moreover, I had been to many places around town that I had never been to. Or the least, never been there with friends or hadn't been there for years. All of these were great, and the main source of happiness throughout the year.
The stressors.
Too many... too many too many toooooo many of them. For this, I would say in terms of academic stuff. Especially for my previous August semester, that literally almost killed me. Aside from those, well... there were plenty of stressors anyway. I'm very close to my threshold of insanity.
The conflicts.
One of the years I had the most conflicts. Friends, family, and self. However, most of them were in indirect and semi-indirect forms. A few direct ones, sent me to tears and serious mental breakdowns. Needless to say, some indirect ones with extremely strong impacts were enough to sent me off cliff a few times. Grabbing back to my senses became more and more challenging. Yet, I was intimidated by myself when I was being put under that one incident. I was shockingly calm. Of course, the side effects weren't anything pretty. Even so, I had many realizations through all these. Yet in the bad side, I had been slowly building myself a metal heart.
The deaths.
I know it's a sensitive issue. This had been one of those year (the last time was year 2005) which I felt that there were too many deaths of the people that I know. Let alone I had lost an important family member as well, this year. Thinking about him puts me into denial stage even at this very minute. Two more days, and it had been four months. I really miss you a lot, great grandpa. You always put me into serious tears whenever I think or talk about you. See? You're doing it again. So when are you going to make me smile by visiting me in my dreams? ;D It's extremely taunting to know that whenever I go back to Bangkok, to that house, I'll never see him again. Okay, I had to stop talking about him already. Okay okay one last thing, I LOVE YOU GREAT GRANDPA! And I believe that you favor me too. ;D You always give me that extremely cute smile of yours when you see me. I'll never forget that peaceful look of yours, too. I truly thank God for giving me to opportunity to be with you in your last days.
The new loves.
No... Not boyfriends. I'm married to Park Yoochun, remember? xD Well, I had to say I spent quite a bundle of money as well this year. The new babes that I got myself includes: a red hot sexy external hard drive, a sassy red long purse, a lovely Canon 1000D, a sweet white gown (*cough* not wedding gown-lah), an expensive genuine leather bag (I'm still shocked that I'm allowed to buy that even after months) and a pair of branded specs. What else I'm missing? Hmm... I'm not too sure. Yet, one extremely visible obsession - the color red. xD
The involvements.
Ah... one of the years that I actually got a lot more active in my university's activities! Nothing else to say for this. LOL.
The discoveries.
I had too many new discoveries... to be mentioned. Honestly. And... I decided to keep this to myself. ^^
It's already 12.48 a.m., 1st January 2010 as I typed until this sentence.
So... happy new year to you who's reading this.
I hope that all of us will have a better year this year.
^^
-Jas-
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