Life's Toughest Questions ANSWERED (Part II)
Continued......
Life's 25 Toughest Questions- Answered
By Jeanne Marie Laskas
FAMILIES & FEUDS
11. Can a man and a woman ever just be friends?
# For a short time perhaps. Making the friendship last requires that you find each other at least vaguely repulsive. Good luck!
12. When do you take away Grandpa's car keys?
# The American Medical Association says safe driving has more to do with functional ability than age. True, seniors are more at risk for reduced vision, hearing loss and impairments associated with arthritis - but all fo these conditions depend on the individual. (However, it's mandatory in Singapore and Hong Kong for drivers older than 65 and 70, respectively, to undergo a medical test.) So when it seems to you that Pop is becoming a danger to himself and to others, tell him straight. Point out that his reactions have slowed or his judgment is losing its edge. Suggest he not drive anymore. Be firm, but at the same time, don't treat him like a child. Allow him his dignity. Offer him a ride.
13. Do siblings who fight really end up liking each other?
# I surveyed my older sisters, both of whom have vivid memories of how I tripped, pummeled, and whacked them with various large plastic dolls (hey, they started it - they teased me!), and both confirmed my suspicion that nowadays they like me just fine. I sure like them. All the experts will tell you that fighting among sibling is normal. They key is how parents handle it. Rule no. 1: Don't take sides. Never get into a discussion of who started what or what is more fair. Stop fights with a time-out for all offenders. My mother would send up to separate rooms. So we invented string phones and a pulley system to transport necessary treats and toys. And whatever we were fighting about was forgotten.
14. How do you know when to end a friendship?
# As soon as you get that sneaking suspicion that it never really began.
ALL ABOUT YOU
15. Why do we turn into your parents when we swore we wouldn't?
# Because really, when all is said is done, we admire them.
16. Can half-empty person become a half-full person?
# A current theory is that people have an "emotional set point". Some folks are just made happier than others. Pessimists will see this as bad news, believing it really doesn't matter what you do - they are not going to be any happier. But there is hope - as any optimist will see! Happiness has more to do with how you construe the events in your life than the casual events themselves.
KIDS, NO KIDDING
17. When do kids become adults?
# Biologically, it's happening earlier; emotionally, it seems to be happening later. nowadays puberty occurs in females between ages 8 and 14, between 9-15 in males. A generation ago, when you turned 18, you were out the door and on your own. Now we see kids in the Boomerang Generation coming home to Mom and Dad after college, hoping for a hand with bills, laundry, meals and other responsibilites of adulthood. It's cute for a while, less adorable the older the kid gets.
18. Can a mother be friends with her teenage daughter?
# No. Most teens aren't ready for anything close to a mature friendship. According to current research, the brain continues to develop into a persont's 20s. Mothers often want to befriend their daughters; fathers, their sons. But this is not in anyone's best interest. Teenagers need to form identities distinct from their parents. That means: lots of privacy, even some secrets. It's usually easier for a teenage girl to befriend the friend of her mother, and it's usually best for the mother to leave it at that.
Life's 25 Toughest Questions- Answered
By Jeanne Marie Laskas
FAMILIES & FEUDS
11. Can a man and a woman ever just be friends?
# For a short time perhaps. Making the friendship last requires that you find each other at least vaguely repulsive. Good luck!
12. When do you take away Grandpa's car keys?
# The American Medical Association says safe driving has more to do with functional ability than age. True, seniors are more at risk for reduced vision, hearing loss and impairments associated with arthritis - but all fo these conditions depend on the individual. (However, it's mandatory in Singapore and Hong Kong for drivers older than 65 and 70, respectively, to undergo a medical test.) So when it seems to you that Pop is becoming a danger to himself and to others, tell him straight. Point out that his reactions have slowed or his judgment is losing its edge. Suggest he not drive anymore. Be firm, but at the same time, don't treat him like a child. Allow him his dignity. Offer him a ride.
13. Do siblings who fight really end up liking each other?
# I surveyed my older sisters, both of whom have vivid memories of how I tripped, pummeled, and whacked them with various large plastic dolls (hey, they started it - they teased me!), and both confirmed my suspicion that nowadays they like me just fine. I sure like them. All the experts will tell you that fighting among sibling is normal. They key is how parents handle it. Rule no. 1: Don't take sides. Never get into a discussion of who started what or what is more fair. Stop fights with a time-out for all offenders. My mother would send up to separate rooms. So we invented string phones and a pulley system to transport necessary treats and toys. And whatever we were fighting about was forgotten.
14. How do you know when to end a friendship?
# As soon as you get that sneaking suspicion that it never really began.
ALL ABOUT YOU
15. Why do we turn into your parents when we swore we wouldn't?
# Because really, when all is said is done, we admire them.
16. Can half-empty person become a half-full person?
# A current theory is that people have an "emotional set point". Some folks are just made happier than others. Pessimists will see this as bad news, believing it really doesn't matter what you do - they are not going to be any happier. But there is hope - as any optimist will see! Happiness has more to do with how you construe the events in your life than the casual events themselves.
KIDS, NO KIDDING
17. When do kids become adults?
# Biologically, it's happening earlier; emotionally, it seems to be happening later. nowadays puberty occurs in females between ages 8 and 14, between 9-15 in males. A generation ago, when you turned 18, you were out the door and on your own. Now we see kids in the Boomerang Generation coming home to Mom and Dad after college, hoping for a hand with bills, laundry, meals and other responsibilites of adulthood. It's cute for a while, less adorable the older the kid gets.
18. Can a mother be friends with her teenage daughter?
# No. Most teens aren't ready for anything close to a mature friendship. According to current research, the brain continues to develop into a persont's 20s. Mothers often want to befriend their daughters; fathers, their sons. But this is not in anyone's best interest. Teenagers need to form identities distinct from their parents. That means: lots of privacy, even some secrets. It's usually easier for a teenage girl to befriend the friend of her mother, and it's usually best for the mother to leave it at that.
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