Insanity.

First off, please don't freak out when you read the title.
Even though there are times I feel like I'm going to loose myself, but I'm still pretty much sane.

Though, of course, I couldn't guarantee that I can stay sane in the future.
Why?
I just stood a little higher on the stage, and I can feel it.
I'm already touching the line.
I'm going to cross that line, very soon.

Oh yes this is so freaking me out.
Those who read this, please don't freak out.
You're doing me a favour.

I'm saying all these not to let those who read this worry.
I'm saying all these is merely for my own sake.
Blogging, after all is a way for me to pour out and put them into words.
Make them not vague, slightly vague, or totally vague.

I'm happy to be a Scorpion.
Thank you for the gifted, inborn mysteriousness.

I caught myself crying for no reason.
I'm not feeling sad.
I'm not feeling upset.
I'm not feeling angry.
I'm feeling nothing.
But I cried.

I'm being extra sensitive.
Which I hate.
Its never fun to tell yourself to stop thinking unrealistic things that seem realistic.

I have to stop.
Stop talking.
Stop feeling.
Stop looking.
Stop seeing through things.
Stop empathizing.
Not entirely, but putting things a little slower.
Putting things not on my normal speed.

How many years ago that I felt I need to stop these, too?
And then?
Things happen.

So many things that I've said are so contradicting.
Jasmine, you should really stop talking.
You're starting to talk nonsense that shoots spears.

*deep breath*

Don't worry about me people.
I know it's hard... not to?
And yes, you people might be thinking: Yeah right, so you can worry about us but we can't worry about you? Geez you're being ridiculously fair.
But... just do it.
You're doing me a favour.

However, don't make me worry you guys okay?
I can see things going on with you.
Come and confront me if you need to.
I won't guarantee I'm ready, but I can assure you this:
I will be ready.

Maybe you'll find this very extremely unconvincing.
You can just tell me about everything.
You can tell me about yourself (which, believe me, is something people tend to avoid from others).
I might not be the perfect person for you to pour out whatever you wanted, therefore I respect you if you really don't want to talk about anything.
I know everyone needs a pair of ears that really listen, and to just listen to you, desperately.
And I am more than willing to be that pair of ears, for you.




Thank God, I felt slightly relieved.
Thank you, blogger for FINALLY working for me.
Screw you MSN for being extremely gay.

-Jas-